I keep reminding myself that nothing comes before it’s time.  I’m on this quest for my ideal media career, I’m chasing my Masters Degree, have become increasingly health conscious and brining up marriage to my boyfriend so much that you would think he proposed already.  What, don’t judge me, this is my space for honesty and my reality check!  I have to give him all the credit for handling it like a pro – because let’s face it; I’m not ready for marriage and babies! I’m ready to get a few fish and a growing bank account where I feel stable and comfortable enough to actually commit to those things.  They ain’t cheap! Don’t worry, I’ve already relented from the marriage talks and apologized for my recent behaviour, because the one thing I have learnt is, when you ask for things they really happen and when they start you can’t back down because you’re the one that set the entire thing in motion.

As I’m typing this I keep having flashes of Carrie typing on her Mac questioning, confessing and professing the week’s learning concerning, love, life, sex, friends and foes.  Something needs to be said for the ability to strip down all the fancy glamerous wants and see things as they are – I’m going to be 30 in a few weeks and while planning is awesome, life has a way of navigating its own course according to His plan.  This is why I’m faithful in knowing that I have encountered more wins than losses and continue to use those losses as a foundation to keep pushing forward.

This feeling is mirrored by many if not most of the women I know – milestones come to us and we begin to re evaluative and calculate where and what we are doing and gaining from our lives.  Trail blazers like Gloria Steinem paved a road for us to be able to see ourselves as more than just baby makers and home dwellers.  Nowadays we are so much more than that, but I beg to ask have we as women started to want it all so much that we have neglected the balance of it all?  The plan for most reads like this; finish with a career degree at 34, work a year max, meet a man, have a baby, go back to work and live a full and rewarding existence.  Have we really stopped to think about all the variables and holes in that story? How about the debt that was inquired in school that you wouldn’t want to bring into the relationship.  Working for only 1 year will get your feet wet but not allow you to climb the bullshit preverbal latter of the career world you are so desperately seeking and to have to dip out for mat leave, allows space for all the other go getters to assert themselves.  Re-establishing yourself will be hard and you will probably want flex time so you can be active and rear your child and not have baby sitters, grandparents, preschool or TV do it for you.  So I beg you – don’t plan it so much – let it happen and give grace in knowing that you wouldn’t be given more than you can handle.  So, let love happen, pursue your goals now – the tomorrows you keep promising yourself may never materialize because you don’t want it to.  Be the virtuous woman that you are, and recognize that asking for help isn’t weakness – it’s a sign of effective leadership. It is all truly possible-just have faith in the process and enjoy the journey.  As I’m typing this I hope it serves to be helpful to someone, I truly do – but I’m feeling this awesomely therapeutic wave come over me-letting me know that I too have to relent and give into the process and allow all the opportunities I am awarded to be uncovered and keep pushing.

I say, 30 – bring it on – I’m ready! I guess I am growing up – it doesn’t feel that bad actually.  Reflections are eternal.

I’m up this morning feeling that the small things really do matter, because it makes the big tings not so big and much easier to tackle.  And now, all I seem to be thinking about is Jill’s Scott’s track So Blessed – give it a listen, it’s a terrific start up song for your day.

I’m grateful this morning for all of you, your support encouragement and silent criticism…I hear you! I appreciate it…and I am confident that I am walking in God’s path intended for me…and am open to learning what He wants for me is best.  It’s all good.  This is what makes me feel confident.  I have chosen to listen to my intuition; that tiny voice in your heard, the fast beats of my heart and those butterflies in my stomach….I haven’t tunes them out but on the contrary I have learned to tap into those feelings and hear them loud and clear.  My intuition is no longer a silent murmur but a sharp, crystal clear conversation in my mind’s eye of what is and needs to be done. I encourage you to take time to let that self talk re develop if you have allowed it to go silent. And challenge you the way I challenge myself to continue to listen to it and allow that voice to be a force and guide you seamlessly through our respective stories called life.

When things seem bleak and downtrodden, that’s when you really have to listen.  Listen out for the lessons you are supposed to be and learn from that situation. It’s normal for be down in out – but the next morning rise like a phoenix on a mission to capture your true self…keep rising. That’s how I feel on days like this when I am able to sit in my silence and have amazing tracks filled my mind with motivation to keep pushing.  The windows open, I’m hearing the birds come back, I hear the breeze blowing  and see that the trees are budding, anxious to bear beautiful luscious leafs soon.  And all I can really do is be grateful.  This isn’t the easiest choice, to be optimistic and realistic doesn’t come naturally for everyone, but with a bit of practice and willingness to see that the cup really is half full and that there is nothing greater than trying to be the most amazing person you can be for yourself, your family, your friends and for the awareness of being a global citizen …it really is empowering. Now I have this terrific track running through my mind, It’s called Days like this by Sean Escoffrey …once you hear it you’ll know exactly how I’m feeling.

And that’s where I am today, open to the lessons, grateful for the time I have to share and the impact I intend to make and the legacy I’d like to leave …it all starts right here, within me and the ability to want more.  I thank you for your readership, your time and your willingness to want better …enjoy the days to come.

I have been on a personal journey of growth and true determination and making my dreams come true and am at peace with that.  I even spoke to one of my sister girls that I am prepared to go through a million rejections before my first acceptance and real big break.  It’s almost that I can see myself almost apparitional-like in the future exactly where I want to be and where I have worked to reach. Today just isn’t that day.

I was told by an industry colleague that there was a position posting for a job that is meant for me, I tell you it was one of those postings you read and you don’t only fit, but you excel in every competency…it was one of those.  I worked on my cover letter, I got an opinion and it was agreed that I would at least be asked for an interview…. so I prayed on it, believe me, and sent it in…within minutes I got a reply saying that I was good and had enough experience and qualified but they are looking for someone who ‘fits’ what they are looking for.  I took it in stride – these things happen, and I see that if you really want something bad enough you have to keep on keeping on…but I decided to turn this into a learning experience for me…I emailed back, thanking him for his speedy response.  I asked humbly if he could guide me towards what I was lacking so I would be able to get it together.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but if we don’t make these defeats into opportunities than we are losing out on valuable information. I asked for his response and am obviously still waiting, because he’ not in the business of assisting but getting his candidate.  I get that.  But WTF, seriously, if you never give someone a shot, then how do you expect them to gain experience.  I have asked to come in on low to no pay to companies that I feel I can grow with so I can learn – I have no problem putting my pride aside to gain experience – but in that case I was too experienced, this one it seems I don’t’ quite fit the mold of their brand, another was another reason, and others…most times the candidate is already picked, but jut so it looks good they post it … I hate that PC bullshit.

Furthermore, I was called Oprah the other day, and it got me thinking that this happens more and more – since I was young it was a running joke that the way I stay, talk, advise and dream is big like the mother of all talk shows; Oprah.  It’s no lie that I aspire to have a magazine format show, where we can infuse the listeners with positively and opportunities…it’s on my vision board, my goal sheets, my career prayer list…. so can someone get on the horn to Mz O, and let her know that I’m not trying to dim my light and it’s TIME…so how many times does it take a no to turn it into a yes…for sure, and you’re up Zee…I keep on keeping on, with my city on my back, female representation and the voice of youth who have quality stories worth sharing….I keep on keeping on.

Feb. 24 2012 @ 1:46 PM

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150620012123470.412739.501383469&type=1

So, for taking that time I need to apologize – the buzz on the blog was out there and I have to be real with you – I needed time to study my next move and make sure I sat with the ideas for long enough in silence to know that it’s the right thing for me.  And, continuing with that honesty – I’m sure I’ll blog about this in the future, without being too preachy, I took time out for me.  I look at the amazing, stunning, capable wonder women in my life and took a huge lesson out of their book.  Take time and make sure you’re at 100 before you can be there for anyone.

And so I did that – I took time to just be me and chill out – honestly something I struggled with because I never really did that.  I took time to relish the feeling of being in love.  I took time to nurture a healthy, reciprocal, respectful relationship.  I am grateful to God for that and know that nothing comes before its time.  I have taken the time to nurture my family values and connect with people that not only look like me but love like me too.  I took time and got in my silence and planned how to get my money goals on track and see where I want to be in the next five years and the kind of commitment, money and savings that will require.

I took time to nurture great friendships and recognize what made them great and cut off dead ones that were truly just weighing me down.  I took time for me to finally realize that it really is just me myself and I and be Okay with that.  I took the time out to see my virtues and values and recognize that I am a true friend, loyal partner and a terrific family member…and I am proud of those things.  I didn’t neglect my duties to you my readers, but I am now being that much better, funnier, honest and retrospective because I took time to fall in love with me.

I’m so back!  So, tell me, how have you been?

Feb 24^th 2012 @ 2:03 PM

MontrealDancehallTV recently sat down with Montreal model Oni Julien to talk about her modeling career, what keeps her going and what’s up next for this rising fashion star.

1. How long have you been modeling?
I’ve only officially been modeling for about two years.

2. What made you pursue a career in modeling?
I’ve always expressed an interest in fashion as a child period. I think allot of my interest was inherited from my father. My father in his youthful days was a Dj and really into fashion. That also explains my love for music. He was a trendsetter. I remember looking at old photos of my Dad in his custom made bell bottoms and high top platform shoes with wait for it, real live fish swimming in the see through heel! I’m cracking up just thinking about it. I also use to sketch designs with no artistic ability. I just always knew I wanted to be involved with fashion some way or another.

3. Did you ever think that modeling was for you?
Like I said I’ve always been interested in fashion, but no I didn’t always think modeling was for me. Honestly allot of it had to do with self esteem or the lack there of. I guess I was and still am like many females who did or still do lack self esteem. Some people assume that if you’re a model you’re a conceited stuck up snob. I always say never assume or judge anyone especially by their profession. I’m far from conceited or stuck up. Never did I think I was pretty enough or interesting enough for anyone to want to take my picture for any reason. Only when I began to accept myself for who I am and began to love myself did I get the courage to start. Not a fan of woulda, coulda, shoulda. Now I know.

4. If you had children and they expressed an interest in being in the industry would you encourage it?
Hopefully one day if I’m blessed with children, I wouldn’t necessarily encourage them to just go into modeling or the fashion business alone. I would encourage them to pursue anything they were interested, build they’re self esteem and let them know I’m behind them 100% in whatever they wished to pursue. However if I did have a child who expressed interest in modeling I would encourage them to pursue it, but also guide them anyway I can and prepare them as much as I could about the good and bad aspects of the business.

5. How has it changed your perspective on being a female?
My perspective on being a female has always remained the same. We are truly strong resilient and should always be respected once you respect yourself. My perspective on models has changed though. It’s so cliche to say modeling is allot harder than it looks, but it’s actually true. I have so much more respect for models and the tenacity and drive that they have. Sometimes you’re put in situations which make you question your morals and beliefs. To be faced with that and the constant pressure to look a certain way, takes a strong lady.

6. How do you syc yourself up for a photo shoot?
Believe it or not I’m extremely shy. When I tell people that they never believe me. I always get “How are you shy when you’re a model”? I completely understand the question though because as a model you’re always exposed and out there. When you love something so much you find ways to work around the shyness. It took a while trust me. The way I syc myself up before a shoot or a show is I say a little prayer. I also literally shake it out and breathe! I kind of just have to become someone else because If I’m just ‘Oni’ I wouldn’t have the courage to go through with it.

7. What have you learnt about the industry that you would like to share with our readers?
As much as I love modeling and the fashion industry, I’ve learnt that there’s allot of discrimination. Especially ageism and racism. I’ve always heard about it, but actually experiencing all of this first hand is a completely different story. I’m not trying to turn anyone off of it, but it’s just the truth. It’s an industry full of opportunity, but you also have to have tough skin and a backbone if you are serious about pursuing a career in modeling. More doors will close in your face than open, especially if you’re not the typical “cookie cutter” type. You’re only human so it will hurt and get you down when someone tells you or indirectly tells you that you’re not tall enough, thin enough or not what we’re “looking for”. If it’s something you want to do you literally cannot take any of it personally or you’ll never make it. As hard as it is you have no choice but to brush it off and believe that there’s nothing at all wrong with you! When that door slams,a window will open!

8. What’s been the most interesting thing you’ve gone through?
LOL! I have to take a step back and actually say to myself that as much as those people are talented and do contribute to the photo, That’s ME! I did that! I still struggle with that to this day. When I get compliments on photos it’s so hard for me to accept at times. It’s a good thing I have a really great support team. My family is my backbone. Even just the love I get from people who’ve known me along the way, that means alot and also helps.

9. What are your future goals?
Honestly when it comes to my goals, if I can help other females especially young girls realize that they can model no matter how old you are, what size or ethnicity, then I’ve achieved it. I want to give back so that others wont have to wait as long as I did. That they can grab on and hold on to that self esteem and believe you can do. Not going to lie though, a bill board would be nice! um hello cover girl?! lol!

10. Which designer or designers would you like to work with?
I would love to work with as many Canadian designers as possible. We have so many talented designers in Canada I would love to represent. Vicky Joseph, interesting prints and her last collection for Montreal Fashion week was amazing! Coccolilly, because I love the African inspired designs and love the fact that they use allot of visible minorities in their shows. Denis Gagnon, Barila, are just classic. But I also love and would love to work with Stella McKartney, Zac Posen, Rachel Roy, just to name a few.

http://montrealdancehall.blogspot.com/2011/09/drop-needle-oni-julien.html#more

DJ ‘s people develop personal relationships with them, without even knowing them…by way of only attending a party if their ‘favorite’ DJ is there so they attend. Marking social occasions with them, the DJ at the helm, of crafting their musical experience. It’s that very personal relationship, we defend our favs and diss our foes and keep it moving. It’s the person you like to admit to knowing and hiring for an occasion…the DJ has more intricate things happening than a lot of us take for granted. Being someone’s favorite must take some doing, and that brings me to this profile, on well one of my favorite overall DJs: Kwite Sane.

Kwite Sane grew up in Notre Dame de Grace , the son of Jamaican immigrants he forged his way unto the music scene by developing his crafts and understanding his audience.He rocks a party, takes his business serious by breaking records, being on time, making a name for himself and staying on his grind.DJ Kwite Sane is that dude, the first to respond to a message, the first to take a risk and sign up for an event, the first to make him seen and heard without being too in your face. He has been able to maintain a persona while almost becoming enigmatic, if you’re not privy to his personal circle you never will be… I gotta love and respect boundaries and the effectiveness of being able to maintain them.

I’m not sure if he knows the high regard I hold him in – but there’s no time like the present…thanks Sane for being you and never ever ever changing for anyone.

DJ NAME: KWITE SANE

AREA/REGION: Montreal, Quebec, Canada

AFFILIATION (S): CORE DJS, TSM Entertainment

CLAIM TO FAME: “Flava On Top Of Flava”

When did you start DJing?
Started DJing back in 1986-87

How did you get into DJing?
I think the first spark in me wanting to DJ was when I first heard Montreal’s legendary DJ LDG, play and control the crowd at a party back in the day.

What type of music did you fall in love with first?
Hip-Hop was and will always be my first love.

What was the first gig that put you on?
The first gig I deejayed at was a bar-b-que / house party in Chateauguay for the Scantleburys. That set it off right there.

What’s your favorite memory so far behind the 1’s and 2’s?
Too many memories, but I guess one of the most memorable was the first time I started to dj and rock the mic at the same time. And that was opening for a dj that I patterned my style after, Dj Kid Capri.

Have you been able to make DJing a viable career?
Djing has been a viable career for me. I haven’t had a regular 9-5 job in about 6-7 years
What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to accomplish in the industry?
What I want to accomplish in the industry is that the Kwite Sane brand is guaranteed every time. When hiring me for whatever event it may be, you’re getting your money’s worth. And I think I’ve done that so far.

What do you DJing program do you use?
I use the Serato program when djing.

What have you done with your Vinyl collection?
I haven’t done much with my vinyl collection since switching to Serato. I still have it sitting in my parents basement.

What’s the coolest record you own?
The coolest record I own would have to be Big Daddy Kane’s “Ain’t No Half Steppin” 12 inch that I had bought with my own hard earned money.

Sean “Diddy” Combs and Kwite Sane

Who has been the best show/concert you’ve ever seen and why?
The best concert that I ever been too, and there have been plenty, was The Backstage Tour at the Bell Centre (Montreal) with Jay-Z, DMX, Method Man & Redman.

If you’re a radio DJ compare radio to being a club DJ. Likes/dislikes?
Being a club DJ is great because you’re in control. You control the tempo and the mood for the night. I like to experiment with mixes in the club and shock the crowd, loving their reactions. Radio is tricky. The regular day to day mix show can be monotonous when you’re only allowed to play what the programmer tells you to play without much leeway. The late night shows are different where you can basically play you want as well as on Internet radio. The best thing about radio is that your Djing can reach a much larger audience.

Do you feel like you can break a record I your market?
I break many records in my market. Its part of my DJing style that I must be the first dj in the club to break a new record.

Have you thought about producing?
I’ve tried my hand at producing a long time ago but wasn’t really interested in it. I may try my hand at it again in the future

How do you balance family life and DJing?
Well I have no kids or married so my DJing doesn’t really interfere with my family life. I get to see my parents and my brother at least 1-2 a week.

Do you think it’s possible for someone to be in your life and understand your lifestyle?
Outside of people involved in the industry, it’s really hard to find someone that can understand your life and the lifestyle a DJ leads. It’s always great from the outside looking in, but once inside it can take it’s toll.

How do you keep upping your own bar?
I challenge myself daily. Mentally practicing most times I’m thinking up new mixes to experiment with. Manually practicing putting down those mixes. I listen to all types of music which really helps in broadening your mixes and music selection. Anytime you do sometime in the club that hasn’t been done, and may surprise even yourself when you do it, I think you up the bar every time.

Kwite Sane and R&B Singer Melanie Fiona

Who are your musical idols and why?
The Notorious B.I.G., Big Daddy Kane and Jay-Z are my musical idols. When Kane came on the scene he was so smooth and cool when he rapped. Also he had the lyrical prowess that I loved. Biggie and Jay-Z just took it to the next level. They have made timeless music. Any coincidence that all three are from Brooklyn?
What are your long-term goals?
I have a goal of going into artist management and owning my own club. I have no plans on slowing the DJing down anytime soon so the sky’s the limit.

If your child/children wanted to start DJing and or being the music industry would you go for it?
If my children wanted to start DJing or be in the music industry, I wouldn’t stop them. As long as they go to school and have a back up plan. I took up DJing for the love of DJing.
I never thought that my hobby would have turned into a career. I love what I do and making people happy every night.

For more info Djkwitesane
Interwiewed by Zeeta Maharaj

http://montrealdancehall.blogspot.com/2011/09/behind-cut-dj-kwite-sane.html#more

I hope that you are all well and that you are gearing up and preparing for the new fall season that is quickly approaching. Weather it’s back to school and or if it’s time for your loved ones or children to head back to school and if you find yourself questioning where you are in life, are these the cards you’ve been dealt? Is there more? What’s going on? Should it be so hard? What’s next? Where do I go from here?
Believe me, all these questions are not only normal, they’re right on time. I have noticed and through an un-scientific poll of my peers and friends, it happens to us all and around this time of the year. With new seasons come new thoughts, questions and changes.
It happens to me on a semi-regular basis! Believe me my friends have their hands full when I’m going through it…but the day after the turmoil in my mind I am able to let the dust settle and see clearly once again. I do have some suggestions about successfully managing these potentially confidence breaking self talks that have you questioning and revamping everything.
First off, take a breath …it really is OK. If you are feeling that you need to make changes, it’s maybe because you really have to – go with it. Let the powers that be guide you, because there are always answers when you try listening and looking for them. Speak what your desires are to the universe. It’s a magnificent thing that happens – once you speak your dreams to the universe. It may not happen right away, but there are answers and things that will present themselves to you to make you work towards it and or show you that what you are asking for may not be for you.
Also, subconsciously the minute you admit and speak your truth to the universe you will begin to work towards it. You have to believe in your abilities and work towards that ambition and energy coming to fruition. It is not only possible, it is doable.
A step further to speaking your truth is creating a vision board. These boards can present themselves in a variety of ways. If you are more visual cute out pictures of things you want and want to aspire for. This is not being materialistic, this is being visual. (Honestly be realistic in your desires but one the less put it out there!) An example would be if you cut out a picture of an Aston Martin and put it on your board, the reality is you may not get that vehicle but you may have a car paid off in full and not have to worry about payments. It’s all about perspective. It may be easier to write out your goals instead of having images. Or combine the two – I have found it best for me to combine them. Seeing images and the words next to them are motivating for me. You may be on the fence about this, but humor me and try it. By writing down what you really want you are braving your own self and admitting that you want more. At times, we are our own worst enemy. This is a way to be honest with yourself and really reach for the things in life no matter how big, small, materialistic, academic outrageous…just do it!
You can separate your goals in many ways; financial, personal, career for example. It will also make it easier to stay on track and devote the right time and energy towards them respectively.
I do know that this can be a challenging and frustrating time when you are thinking and seeking a difference but it can also be a very rewarding and inspiring time. I wish you all luck and encourage you to push yourself. The changes doesn’t have be huge, but honor yourself by not asking the “What if’s” and knowing the answers!
Good luck!

Here’s Boris’ list in case you haven’t read it yet.
“- Embrace your imperfections
- Laugh at yourself. A woman likes a man who doesn’t take himself too serious.
- Fix or build something with your hands. It’ll show her that you are capable of taking care of a home.
- Know how to cook and clean. It’ll show her that you don’t need her but that you WANT her.
- Get your passport and travel. A man needs to see the world.
- Communicate without cursing. You don’t need to curse to make a point. Cursing shows lack of substance.
- In bed, take care of your woman first. When she’s satisfied you are DA MAN!!!
- Stay in shape. It’ll show her that you care about yourself and therefore are able to care about her.
- Take care of your responsibilities. Anything less is unacceptable. A boy is irresponsible, not a man.
- Open her her door and pull out her chair. It shows her that you honor traditional values. Trust me, she will do the same.
- Be present! Take her in with your eyes and ears. Your attention will make her feel loved and she won’t ever nag you.
- Read a f—ing book! (Sorry, violation of ‘no cursing’ rule) But seriously, ignorance is a major turn-off. Book on tape will do.
- Have an ambition. You don’t need to be rich but you need to show direction and motivation. Keep a job!
- Last one for today: Treat a woman the way you would want your daughter to be treated. Anything less is unacceptable.”

Read more: Boris Kodjoe Tweets ‘How To Be A Man’ | Necole Bitchie.com